True Audiophile Tears?
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“If the music is too loud, you’re too old!” Ozzy Osbourne
Say nothing! If he is truly a friend, he can understand what you are thinking without saying a single word. Maybe one day he will ask you: “what do you think is wrong with my system?”. Be patient, he is a friend.
In your shoes, I would do this.
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I agree completely, Luca.
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I think it depends on the friend. A few years ago I was over at someone’s house who was a colleague but not a close friend. He was an audiophile and had just picked up some used Wilsons. I had heard the same speakers at a dealer in years past, driven by a great amps, and they sounded amazing. At my colleague’s house, whether because of what he was feeding them with, or the weird room, or the speaker placement, they sounded awful. I kept my mouth shut. Closer friends, especially those with whom we share our new purchases and our past experiences, would probably have been a different story. But I would not want to risk losing a friendship by telling someone who may not want to hear it that his (or her) system sucks.
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I don’t have any friends who is into music, except @LpHuntress, they are more interested in fishing and golfing. Of course when one hits a killer drive and the a fat approach iron, I tell them in a sarcastic voice " good drive", we all do it!!
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Same here. No one that I know has any interest in hi-fi of any sort.
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Two of my friends have driven me into music since we were young, different genres, concerts and hours spent talking about bands and albums. They know “everything” about drummers and guitarist and so on.
What the hell, one has a modest integrate (the same since our old days at school), the other is used to listening to music from an iPhone or from his car.
Life is really strange!
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“Assuming they’re happy and not asking, do you tell your friends?”
Never! We’re talking friend right?
I don’t have many audiophile friends. I had one that had a McIntosh / JBL based system. It didn’t sound great or offensive. He played records for me once and that was the best sound I heard from it initially. I played my stereo system for him and he told me there was more “separation”. I liked hearing him tell me stories of how proud it would make him feel to take his Mac to the McIntosh clinics and have them measure well. I also learned that the gear he had he always wanted as a teen and eventually acquired it later. These were the things I really liked about sharing interest in HiFi with him. He was a decade older than me and passed away in 2021. 
When he retired he moved into a larger house and wanted to get the most out of his systems. He had a separate Surround Theater in the same room, different gear. He told me the salesman who sold him his gear told him his old basement to home theater conversion was too small to get the best sound. With the larger room, he wanted to get the most out of his systems. Prior to the move I helped him get into a better CD player. He bought a Rega Planet to replace a pretty bad sounding Akai. He trusted me and he had his Mac reconditioned. There’s a gentleman here out in the Washington state Peninsula that is certified to do Mac work. I don’t know if he’s still around, he was up there in age. He also had his JBL woofers reconed. He asked about using his HT subwoofer with his Mac setup. I got it hooked up properly for him. This made a big difference. His Velodyne had a built in electronic crossover. We upgraded his interconnects and eventually his speaker cables. When his Velodyne started rattling, we replaced it with an SVS with a built in electronic crossover. When I upgraded my power cables, unused power cords went into his system.
Before he died, his system was optimized to what he cared to spend, and sounded much better than when I first heard it.
My thoughts on system differences is that technology changes and we discussed this kind of stuff. I would share what improvements I would experience when I upgraded. He eventually noticed similar in his systems. I had too much respect for the care he gave into putting together his setup. It would do nothing but maybe harm our friendship if I started to criticize his system.
I trust others here have similar experiences?
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I have plenty of friends into music, but only one friend who I’d consider an audiophile. (Someone I got to know on the Steve Hoffman forums.)
We’ve visited each other’s houses, have listened and we’ve chatted about a million things other than the gear.
His system sounds great, and he says mine does too. His gear is more elaborate. Separates. Tubes. Mine’s good, but pretty basic.
I’ll tinker, but he’ll tear down and build up frequently. Neither systems are in “listening rooms”… but rather in living spaces.
We don’t really crank it up to blow the gunk out of the carburetors, as it were. Not our style.
Other friends have stereos, but they couldn’t care less about the gear. Spotify streaming through AVR’s basically. I would never fault them for it, but we don’t really get together for a listening session at their houses.
There, we usually get out our guitars and jam.
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I’m with @luca.pelliccioli and @Photon46.
I often hear that from women, some of whom would embrace crazy SPLs in a concert by artists like Taylor Swift and Pink that could be their grandchildren.
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If it sounds fine to them who am I to judge? Different tastes.
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I think it depends on the level of love for music and how much they are engaged in HiFi. But it’s important to be honest, which does not mean to be brutal. Stay nice. You can always say: It’s not reflecting my personal taste, I prefer more a system that goes in this direction (more warmth, more detail, more base, more lean back… whatever your preference is). And none of my friends who take HiFi really seriously, have really bad sounding systems. So it’s similar to individueal preferences of music styles. You can really be open about your own preference and why you built your own system the way you did…
But if someone is starting with the hobby and has just made some cruzial beginner’s mistakes that result in aweful sound, I tell them. “I think your system has some issues in this direction and I recommend to make this type of adjustments.”
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It’s a little bass heavy tho! lol
Sometimes I didn’t realize how high i had my bass set but I enjoy a tactile feeling in my sound. Al reminds me that my bass may be a tad high and I adjust and still enjoy! The biggest revelation was that darn SR black box. It smooths out the bass and brings some of the details I was missing without it. I guess adding the 4 extra subs is crazy talk. On the thread topic I love getting feedback positive or negative my system has only become better from it.
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In a perfect world there would be retirement communities made up entirely of audiophiles. Can you imagine it? Every day you could visit with another neighbor with a different philosophy for a stereo system. Heaven!
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Even with tact it can break friendships. Someone I used to consider a friend (but does not communicate with me anymore) was very proud of his system and his setup (speakers were the last of the 901s). He asked me if I liked them and I didn’t lie. I dont like them I found his system sounded strident and was not enjoyable. I as polite and said something like "I prefer less highs and a sound more weighted towards mids and lows). He didn’t appreciate that I think since we dont talk anymore
I have another friend that has a very budget conscious system which he has very carefully setup in his room and blows many mega buck systems out of the water. I always compliment it since I truly believe it is an outstanding system.
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It’s funny, my friend thinks everything in my system is a mistake. But I’m fine with that. That comes from being married for 27 years.
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27 years of training
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No surprise, it just takes a bit of work and patience.
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