@onehorsepony put up a note about his system in which he mentioned @Paul giving his opinion on his system’s potential to sound bright.
This led me to my question.
I have a good friend who has a system that he loves. I find it excruciating and quickly fatiguing. But I try to find things to say, like “wow, the detail!”.
He listens to my hifi and he finds nothing that he looks for in a system. He stays mute and I understand.
Assuming they’re happy and not asking, do you tell your friends?
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Sure, we discuss our preferences, etc.
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The last system of a real friend’s that I listened to was one in which I had given him the speakers and sold him the amp at a great low price, and recommended the source player. So. . . I liked it and told him so.
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Understood. But if your friend has built a system to achieve the sound they like, what would be the point?
(BTW–I once offered to bring him one of my Class A amplifiers to try in his system as an experiment in place of his Class D—an offer that he rejected as absurd)
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It is fun to share, consider, discuss.
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Maybe his hearing is “better” or "worse’ than yours. How do you describe color to a color blind person? Red to him is different from your red.
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My question has nothing to do with why we like what we like.
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In my case this friend really had no clear idea what a system could sound like until he started listening to mine evolve over the years. He wanted a system that in a sense had characteristics of mine, and he has one. There are certainly ways that he could improve on this system but as he doesn’t want to spend money on it, something I know very well, I don’t tell him about those.
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If you’re a member of an audio club one learns to deal with this issue diplomatically (hopefully.) Occasionally, someone utters something that might be offensive to the host but that’s rare in my experience. Mostly folks just listen and chat. I’ve visited the homes of many members in our club and one quickly realizes that audio predilections, priorities, and preferences are so varied it’s a wonder there’s any common ground at all. I think we become habituated and conditioned to what we have at home and there’s constant subliminal mental work to willfully suspend disbelief that what we’re listening to is lacking in certain areas. When we go to someone else’s audio domain that suspension of disbelief isn’t in full play and we’re struck by that which is lacking. I generally find many other audiophiles to prefer brighter and more hyper detailed reproduction than sounds realistic to my tastes. I wonder to what degree age related high frequency hearing loss might play in that. The biggest gain IMO from visiting with fellow audiophiles is sharing the common bond of passion for this pursuit.
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Diplomacy is key with acquaintances “ it sounds great, have you ever thought of trying (fill in the blank here) to try and tame that hot top end”
With true friends, honesty is fine “dude, that top end is killing me” “ I’m out and I’m taking my weed with me”
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If what I am listening to hurts I look at my phone and say "oh my god! My wife had a fender bender, I gotta go! And I was really getting into the music! Great system. Then I flee.
I have never done that to anyone here. But when @paul172 was driving his CLXs with lesser amplifiers I almost did. With each new and better amplifier he got the improvement in sound was astounding! I could be extremely happy with his current system.
Hot top ends are excruciating to my tinnitus. If I know they have Focals or Magicos I don’t go listen.
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Subtlety works best. For example: “can you turn it down please?” “Little more”. “Little more?” “Little more”.
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I love it when a guest says “Can you turn it up?”
Yes actually, I can.
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Reminds me of when we saw Steely Dan last September. Our ears burned for days.
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I only have two friends in my circle who are interested in hi-fi. One of them likes my system. At least that’s what he said… not that he was just being diplomatic 
The other is a typical only child who has everything better. CLX speaker, as I read that I thought of him. He has those too, but a small amplifier is enough for him, everything else, especially cables, is voodoo. 
He no longer speaks to another friend because he was arguing about whether his Lotus Exige with 540 hp or the other colleague’s Lamborghini Aventador SV was the better car. After listening to me, he just said I had better room acoustics. Admitting that my system sounds good is not in its nature. The expensive cables and fuses would not have been necessary. Advice and criticism on my part is unnecessary. Either he doesn’t accept it or he’s offended.
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I’d like to think we are mature enough to discuss our likes and dislikes. This is how we learn. I also accept the notion that we tend to hear things differently, especially as we age.
One friend has a system that during extended listening sessions causes my ears to ring. He truly loves the sound of that particular system. His second system is more natural sounding to my ears.
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I used to have a audiophile friend nearby in the past, but once he found out I had a better system he seldom showed up anymore. I did not say anything negative at all, it could be my expression gave too much away.
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I opt for suggesting they play music with less of a hot top end, being somewhat specific as to the selection.
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“Do you have any dark and somber music?”
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I’m too easily driven to tears.
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