Parents gift 
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I want one, no make it two… 
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Made one for my good buddy, who never seems to meet with much success in the relationship department… Mind you, wearing it might not help his situation.
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Yesterday my wife was once again pointing out my obvious inability to do ANYTHING right these days and ended her conniption fit tirade with: "Why can’t you just treat me like you USED to – y’know like when we were first DATING!!!”
So last night I took her out for a nice romantic drive, we looked at Christmas lights, we talked, we made out in the car a bit, and then I dropped her off at her parent’s house.
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What happened after that ?
Peace on earth, naturally.
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A Gary Larson classic
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I also remember this from Larson but I’m not sure this particular version is his artwork.
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My friend’s father owned a bar when we were growing up. He had this above the bar in the late 60s early 70s so I know it predates Larson.
Thanks for the clarification. We bought all of the Larson stuff that was available in the late 70’s and early 80’s but did not know the history of this particular piece. He was the king of satire and we loved everything he did. Another famous one was the huge single eye in the car rear view mirror that had the words “things in the mirror are closer than they appear” printed on it. Man we laughed hard at a lot of his humor.
I forgot the caption was different. It was “Patience my ass, I’m going out and kill something”. It’s funny the things you recall when your memory is prompted. Your post brought that back to me.
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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had
something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer… Always something more important to me. Finally she
thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush. I said, “When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
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My wife kept asking me to take her someplace she’s never been. So I took her to the kitchen.
Buhdum
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Similar to @RonP line above (albeit raunchier)…“My girlfriend asked me to kiss her where it stinks, so I took her to Chelsea!” This was when we lived in Massachusetts (I really miss New England humor).
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Our family used to have a place in Gloucester, MA. A nearby town, Manchester (more of a well to do place, with nice sea captain’s houses vs. the more working-class fishing port of Gloucester) went by the moniker “Manchester-by-the-Sea”. So the old saying was, “Manchester by the Sea, Gloucester by the smell.”
My ancestors were the first English settlers in Lynn, MA in 1629. I am the 13th generation here in America. This is on my mother’s side. My ancestor, Edmund Ingalls, was known to have a malt house which explains a lot about my like of malt beverages. We have them to blame for Lynn, Lynn, the city of sin…
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My girlfriend is beautiful but boy is she dumb. She was supposed to pick me up from the airport but on her way there, she saw a sign that said “Airport–Left”, so she went home.
Indeed. Mom used to bounce me on her knee to the rhyme, “Trot, trot to Boston, trot, trot to Lynn”. That’d have been 60 years ago…whew! Gotten off the humor track here - apologies.