Hi Ron,
I have been recently going thru the same thing. I have been in charge of my parents for the last 5 years or so after they both moved into assisted living for health reasons. Dad died 3 years ago at 83 from self inflicted diabetes, CHF, and complications from Alzheimer’s.
Mom has been on a downhill path since mid December and just passed last Friday. She was like your mom, too tough for her own good as the last week was heart wrenching for me as she became “unresponsive” for the last 4 days. Breathing on auto pilot but not alive.
She was 87 and lived to be 10 years older than her parents and the oldest in our family. Genetically we are not a long lived group.
I suppose a lot of people here share the same age bracket so also share the same responsibilities to their family.
We will get through it together and move on eventually.
So sorry for your loss Ron. My Mom passed far too young from dementia that left her helpless for about four years, it certainly had me thinking the same thoughts you expressed. I hope you are able to stay with the best memories of your Mom
My most sincere condolences to you and your family. Take time to grieve and remember. It will be awhile but eventually the good memories will predominate. Take much care!
Just about everything has been said I guess, except adding my name to the list of well wishers. I hope you can get through this with your memories of your mom and know that someday you’ll be together again. Peace to you!
Ron,
I wish you strength and great memories of happier times. When my mother’s health was declining several years ago, I wrote a poem called “Beyond Words,” which I’ve shared below. My mother was a teacher and a librarian. She loved literature and the power of words. But sometimes it’s hard to put deep feelings into the right words. I hope this poem is helpful as you navigate through these difficult times.
**Beyond Words**
Words are magical!
They can stand at attention
in straight dictionary rows,
unabridged,
teeming with meaning.
They can paint exotic pictures in passionate colors,
transporting us to new worlds
on well-worn pages,
smooth to the touch.
They can serve up news, fresh and hot,
in bold headlines bursting with promise
or offer comfort, tenderly,
whispered softly in a young child’s ear.
When words fail, stumbling into jumbled randomness,
we can embrace the silence: calm, dark, pure.
For even in silence, there is remembrance,
and love abides – too deep for words.
Do not stand
By my grave, and weep.
I am not there,
I do not sleep—
I am the thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints in snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle, autumn rain.
As you awake with morning’s hush,
I am the swift, up-flinging rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight,
I am the day transcending night.
Do not stand
By my grave, and cry—
I am not there,
I did not die.
