I hate to be so straight, but I think you are the typical common dealer, or audio audio press victim as we all were or are. You’re not more “stupid” than all of us.
No matter how good all our single advices will be, my serious advice, unless you want to spend years and tons of money to be really satisfied, is, to get an onsite consulting of someone who has experience and doesn’t primarily want to sell. Not sure if you will have to spend around 1k for someone like Jim Smith or if you might find a good dealer who trades-in your equipment and just finalizes the deal with you when you heard everything in your home. Anyhow this will be the least and best money you spend in your audio life.
Online, just to get a good and meaningful impression of your room situation, would take a thread and at the end, you’ll have the serious issues slightly improved but no good audio.
I wrote so much because I’m so aware of your problems and want to help, but I’m sure for a self or online cure, it will take longer than you might want. I myself (also due to quite high demands) was near giving up high end audio completely in the past and am now quite the opposite, so I feel with you.
And it’s not a question of price or brand, but effort and time or the right consulting at the right time.
In the past, tone controls, although not high end, saved us thousands of $ by preventing constant equipment/cabling changes.