“It’s an obsession as is record collecting. A fleeting moment of contentment is all one can hope for.”
As I’ve gotten older I’ve spent a bit of time reflecting on that. It’s another manifestation of the Buddha’s first truth; life is dukka (usually somewhat loosely translated in English as suffering.) A more subtle example of dukka is the Japanese word “aware.” Aware is knowing the ice cream you’re eating is going to be gone far too soon, the beautiful flowers in bloom will fade tomorrow, your health and vigor of youth will eventually fail you, the new piece of audio equipment (or any other material possession) that wows you now will become “meh” next year, etc. Blaise Pascal said “Man’s problems stem from his inability to sit in a room alone.” It might be more accurate to say “Man’s problems stem from our inability to ever stay happy for long with what we have now, no matter how much we have.”
The first white hairs on my head led me to some conclusions, the first being that it is better to stay away from conclusions.
The second is that around me the people I respect can be divided into two categories.
Those who live the present constantly projected towards the future, creative and in perpetual movement, or those who live the present as the result of a long journey that derives from the past, organizers and reliable. I certainly belong to the latter.
The exciting thing is that both categories, although so different from each other, have a single point of contact: the passion that animates them, like a burning fire that consumes them from the inside, when they happen to “really desire something”. Here, in that moment, quoting Paulo Coelho “When you really want something, the Universe plots for you to get it”. Wishing for something reminds us that we are alive.
For me, the trick is figuring out how to be happy with the joys of the present while still allowing the possibility of creating a more perfect existence in the future. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve been learning to focus on seeking out calmness (by minimizing contact with irritating people or uncomfortable situations) at the same time that I seek out creative fulfillment (through writing novels, appreciating music, and loving friends and family).
I’ve learned that I have enough money to be comfortable, but not enough to buy every new piece of fantastic audio gear that gets raves on this forum or in the audiophile press. I may decide to buy new speakers in the next few years, but there’s no sense of urgency to replace my ancient Thiels, which I bought in 1992. I may upgrade my M700 amps to a Class A design or to a new Class D amp that uses GanFETs, but I don’t plan to spend $50K on a new amp or new speakers. I know that I can hear beautiful music even with less costly gear.
However, even while I’m enjoying the satisfaction of listening to beautiful music from my current audio gear, I’m “raging against the dying of the light” (as Dylan Thomas put it) by channeling creativity into writing. I’m not as prolific as Paul M. is, but I’ve already written one novel and am now working on a sequel. I’ve moved on from a long career of academic writing to direct my current creative energy toward writing Young Adult novels. It’s not easy, but it helps me feel productive and alive.
So for me, I’m trying to stay as calm, happy, and contented as possible, while keeping a spark of creativity alive.
Congrats, writing is a powerful remedy both for brain and heart health! Maybe one of these days you can share something with us.
I published a book of poems when I was young, it couldn’t become my job but I transferred this passion to my son, proud of that.
You are absolutely correct. I’m assuming that folks who buy very expensive audio gear as many in this community do have a few ducats to their name. Never the less, I know too many people who have struggled their entire life and getting old as the great writer Philip Roth said is a slaughter.
I have replaced all my electronics and cables within the last two years (sort of downsizing in weights only), and I could not be happier with my system now. The only item left is my big speakers. Don’t get me wrong, my Silverline Monte Cristo is one of the kinds, and I like them better than most of the $50k plus speaker club when I bought them long ago. But I am getting tired of moving 300+ lbs. around, and they grow taller year-by-year.
I must replace them within this year, and a pair of FR30 looks fairly good, especially they come in two pieces. It is another downsizing for me.
After that I am done! My cables are all top-of-lines (I know there is Stealth, but I am not Italian, or in Al’s league), and I am happy stop at PSA gear. I am retired so it is not like I am going to get fat paychecks anymore.
Luca, I love poetry but I know it’s hard to make a living at it. I have a friend who’s a really good poet, but the companies that published her poetry have gone out of business, so her work is currently out of print. She has recently completed several excellent English translations of the Austrian poet Rilke, but she doesn’t know if she can find a publisher for them.
I’m assuming your published book of poems is in Italian. It sounds very interesting to me, but my Italian is so bad that I doubt that I could appreciate it. I’m glad you’ve passed on your passion to your son!
You asked if I could share something from my YA novel, so I thought you might enjoy reading a promotional blurb for the book. I’m getting the manuscript formatted for publication on Amazon, and I hope to get that accomplished within the next month. Here’s the blurb I mentioned:
David Hardy is a young writer who isn’t sure he’s good enough at anything to be a rock star at something. He’s just turned 18 and is worrying his way through a long, hot summer when he packs up his self-doubts, and a few clean clothes, and heads off for a two-week stay in Boston. David has cerebral palsy and is attending a transition program for teens with disabilities who want to learn skills that will help them make it in the adult world. David soon finds himself investigating a friend’s death, sorting out his feelings for a wonderfully unique girl, and learning how to make his wheelchair dance. Staying alive may turn out to be a big challenge, but at least his summer will not be boring.
